That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
