every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
