I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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