I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
