Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Ladies don't puke and tell
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize