I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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