Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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