that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
