He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
