Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
