Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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