I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
