FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
