Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
