cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
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Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
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They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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