I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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