DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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