So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
