big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize