can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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