And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
