I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
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