We're facebook friends in real life
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
