Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
