he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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