I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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