I can tuck mytits in my pants
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
even my farts smell like vagina
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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