two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
