I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
the day after is always just damage control
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
