I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
