Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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