That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
