One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
this hospital has no fireball
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
