When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
then he tried to convert me to islam
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
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