I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
