so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
