I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Do vagina's smell?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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