This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
