Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
