The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
