I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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