i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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