my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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