nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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