K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
