i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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