We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
