No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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