it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I have aggressive nipples.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
