can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
