Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize