woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
