me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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