What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
