Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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