Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
