But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
