If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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