I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
All the doctor said was why
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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