it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
