You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
