I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
