Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
