I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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