Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
