dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
