I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
